Connor's Think Like a Monk Exercises

Exercise 1:

So, for this exercise, I'm writing down values I believe I have. Then, I'm going to list where I think they came from. And, lastly, if I believe they align with my true self.

I'll start with Shetty's example values to help me get started.

• VALUE -- ORIGIN -- IS IT TRUE TO ME?
• Kindness -- Parents -- Honestly, I struggle with kindness. I am a very defensive and walled up person, and kindness is an expression of vulnerability. I deeply wish I were more kind, but I don't know how much I currently am kind.
• Appearance -- Parents -- Oy, I have take on this value in all the wrong ways. I care about my appearance because my parents taught me that attractive people are more successful.
• Wealth -- Media -- I care about wealth because I think it is the key to freedom. And, freedom is a key value for me. I want to feel like I am in control of my destiny. I realize that tying freedom to money is a bad idea, and it's something I want to keep working on.
• Good Grades -- Parents -- No, I don't care about grades except that I actually do. LOL. I try to tell myself that I never cared, but it would always sting a little when I got a D or a C on something. I never wanted to be average. But, that was something my parents put in my head... average is bad.
• Wisdom -- Friends and Tradition -- Yes, I share this value
• Family -- Tradition -- Yes, but my tradition taught me that family was conditional. I am not a fan of conditional family. I desire family that is chosen and is not looking for a quid pro quo relationship.
• Pleasure -- Media -- I wish I didn't care so much about pleasure. I am stuck in the world of immediate pleasures and not long-term pleasures. That's what happens when your dopamine receptors are fucked by a lifetime of bad habits. It's a slow process, but one I am learning to work with.
• Sacrifice -- Tradition -- This value aligns with my higher self but not my lower self. And, I feel very lower self these days.
• Health -- School -- Yes, I believe in health! I think it's so important. But, my decision-making does not currently align with that higher value.
• Contemplation/Reflection -- Tradition -- Yes, I do a lot of reflection these days. It aligns with me.
• Comparison -- Media -- This doesn't align with how I truly wish to be. But, I do find myself eyeing attractive people and successful people with envy and fear.
• Security -- Parents -- Yes, I am a very secure person. I like to have money in the bank, a good apartment without issues, a group of friends I can rely on.

I'm sure that's not all of my values... but they are the first ones that come to mind. It's scary to me how far away from these higher values I wish to be.

I'll do the next exercise this weekend.