Who Am I?

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Who am I?

This is another of those philosophical questions that are allegedly so important while any idiot can think of some rather good answers, impress the ladies with his wit and style, and get his foot through the door with the 'intellectual' types.

For starters, I could avoid making a meaningful answer and just say "I'm Bruce." Good enough answer for the masses, anyway; catchy and pseudo-deep. Bound to score me some points, like the Yoda quotes, for example ( a bit outdated now ). However, this doesn't really answer the question; I'm Bruce, but I'd still be basically the same person whatever name you enter. So I'm *insert any name*, and that's clearly not an answer I'm satisfied with. And isn't nearly as catchy as the first one, right?

No worries. My repertoire of philosophical answers isn't spent yet, oh no. A more complex answer to convince the 'intellectual' crowd would be along the lines of: "I am the sum of my desires, beliefs, thoughts…" etc, etc... with a lot of bunk added for extra points. Ambiguous answer, but indisputably right… is it, really? I know it's theft of intellectual property and punishable by law, but "if what we think ourselves to be defines who we are, then the vast majority of us would be sprouting wings, floating among clouds and playing harpsichords." Is it all really me? The ideologies and beliefs I hold mine weren't my inventions; although not following them would run contrary to my character. Still, they don't define me; I took them as mine because of what I am.

I can already hear the shouts "You're the sum of your actions!". Yet, wouldn't it be more logical to say that all the actions you've done come from what you are, plus, of course, external factors? In effect, what you are defines what you do; although there's a fair amount of interplay between the two.

The discerning student, however, isn't troubled by these silly questions. "I'm me.", he proudly exclaims, and puts an end to further inquiries. However, if "me" is who you think you are, your own perception of yourself, then it can't be right, because you're not who you think you are, for the aforementioned reason that if it were true, the majority of us would be sprouting wings and whatnot…. If it's who you really are, then it's absolutely the same as saying "I am I", and we all know that "x = x", while technically correct, doesn't get us anywhere except failing at exams, perhaps.

So who am I? I'm not defined by name, or nationality, religion, consumer habits, or social status; these things don't even begin to describe who we are. Although others might judge us based on that, but we choose some of these things based on who we are; or we get born with some, but they don't define us as much as it might seem to some. Of course, these things give us something to identify with. "I'm a communist.", "I'm a Wiccan.", "I'm a Jedi (sic!).", the list goes on and on. Any ideology, religion or subculture serves as means of identification for the masses. A by-product of this is a stronger sense of community within the group, but some negative effects, like 'groupthink' as I call it, or limiting your personal development.

It's really simple; people tend to find a group of people with whom they share a common bond, which can be something ranging from music tastes, lifestyle to things like religion or political beliefs. Being in such a group gives them a sense of belonging, and a sense of communality, depending how deeply involved they are, of course. They tend to spend more time with people from their group, what means they spend more time with people who share a set of common characteristics with them. This eventually limits the diversity of opinions and people one gets to know, limits the experiences you can gain. Of course, this depends how closed in the group is, the kind of people involved, the nature of the group. Groups which are based on religions and ideologies are usually more closed-in and exclusive regarding the people involved, as you're less likely to find differing opinions there. It also depending on how tight-knit the group is. Another thing; any newcomers in the group who haven't got already formed personalities and beliefs of their own are very likely to accept the group's dominant ideology, or become a follower of a distinguished member of the group. I saw this a lot of times in the punk subculture, the young ones who start hanging out with us pick up beliefs from the "older" folks a lot of times, and it's sheer luck that there's a variety of different people who disagree, otherwise we'd end up churning out little clones.

This doesn't mean the whole thing is necessarily wrong, oh no, it has a lot of benefits… It's just that being exclusive about who you spend time with leads to shutting yourself in, no matter how progressive and how 'diverse' people involved in the community ( the FA is one i-net community, too), subculture or group claim to be. There are always new things to see, new people to meet, new opinions to hear and beliefs to explore (and refute, he he). People in search of their own identity tend to explore various subcultures, and they can help to understand things about yourself, as well as get you some good friends, but you still must remain an individual, above all. It may be that you can find out more about yourself by finding out about others. Still, the question from the beginning remains unanswered.

And how could you possibly get to know, anyway? What if you wouldn't like what you saw? I mean, if I get brutally honest with myself, I know I don't like some of my characteristics very much; but they're still parts of my character, although I might be better off without some of them. Then again, it seems that my worst faults come from the same source as do some of the greatest things in me; and tampering with one would mean tampering with both. Do you like what you see? Or, better yet; how much do you allow yourself to see, at all? This is one aspect where 'what I don't know doesn't hurt me' doesn't work; what you don't know, hurts you even more. I would recommend finding out for your own sake. Just don't lose yourself while searching for yourself...

Tags: Dark Aspect Legacy

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