Some have been enquiring as to why at the end of a lot of my posts I write “Solus Sum” and what it means. It’s a Latin term for “I am alone”. Noel one day asked me what it meant to me. So this is what I am writing. What it means to ME. Amidst all of these self proclaimed prophets and other would be or want to be Nostradamus soothsayers, the topic of “Judgment Day” have been coming up quite often. And in several arguments with hardcore Christians, I wind up bringing this up. In life no matter what you do, you are the person who must do it and have chosen to do it. For example, lets say your driving to a friend’s house or something. You come to see one of the roads to get to your destination is blocked. It can be said that its out of ones control…or is it? You can sit their and pine about it all day, never getting anywhere, you can go back home, however wasting time, or you can take another way there. But this other way may be a bit more risky, a lot of blind intersections and all that, where Semis have a tendency of flying through without looking. But it just means that you can be a bit more aware of your surroundings and mindful of your driving, or say piss all and drive like an absent minded piss-at and put your life in the hands of “Fate”. But here is the thing about “Fate” or “Luck” and all that hokey stuff. Whenever you have a chance of “Luck” or whatever saving grace, means do not expect it to happen again. Next time, you can almost bet you will be dead broke…or just dead. So, it is up to YOURSELF, to take your life out of the hands of “Fate” or “God” or what have you, and start making things happen for yourself.
If you want a job, instead of praying to Allah that you get a job to the one place you sent in your application to, send out an application everywhere that fits what you may want, and make your resume sharp. All the praying in the world is not going to get you that job if you have typos on the one resume you sent out to the largest law firm in the country. And if you do not get the job, do not blame it on the dog, your wife or what have you. You, it was you. But this does not have to be a curse. Stand up, and get ready for the interview for the other job…that you might like more anyway. And when you get the job, you get the promotion, it was YOU, and YOU made it happen. Take responsibility for when you screw up; take responsibility for when something good happens. Some one can tell you to do something, but YOU have to do it.
I have made mistakes in my past, and I accept that, and I do not see any reason to condemn myself for it to even be forgiven. What is done is done, now its time to act. Nor do I feel I have to get on my knees to pray to a deity to forgive me either. Nor will I in the future. With full knowledge of the consequences of my actions before being taken, or even getting me in the situation, I accepted whole-heartedly the consequences. Good and bad. I know well and right and even then in the future, I did what I not just thought, but KNEW, it was the best I could do with that situation. So knowing that I did the best I can, I do not need to forgive myself, nor do I have to throw myself at the mercy of someone else, or the divine for forgiveness. I can and will live by it, and I will die by it. So if the Christians are right, and when I get to the gates of judgment, and am told to go to the Underworld of Hades for eternity because I did not pray to the god that “they” say I should, I won’t go screaming and clawing for them to take me, instead I will run full sprint into the great fires. For I know, that I did my best for the greater good of all life, I lived a productive life, in the name of “I” and the “Tao”, lived my life to my fullest capacity, and with full knowledge of possible consequences, I brought this on myself, and am proud of it. I found my own guidance, in myself and within All that is life. But I feel too many people condemn themselves before being judged fairly before the eyes of All. Their ideals of what is “good” and correct is only that which comes from what they read, or see on the TV. They have imprisoned themselves in a mental Hell for something that is of little significance. I am now free of guilt and will be free of guilt. When I have been dealt the worst possible hand, I made the best out of it…and lost as least out of it as possible, if not winning even still despite the odds. So as some would say, “the only fate is what we make” I have made my own fate and will continue to do so. I have no crosses to carry, just life to live, and an afterlife that to me that will be my reward for my efforts. But if the naysayers to what I do are right, then bring on the fires, for I am of water. I will adapt, as I have in life, so I shall in death.