Where is Home for a Jedi

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Okay...to begin this lecture, let me state that I am from Las Vegas, NV. Allow me to say something nice about Las Vegas: "It is a festering cesspool of corruption, a blight upon the earth that is borne out of the act of taking advantage of other's weaknesses, a den of which the worst parts of humanity become acceptable, and which a lack of manners and civility becomes the norm."

Oh wait, that wasn't nice, was it?

So by now, you're wondering what this lecture is about, and secondly, what my deal is with Las Vegas. Well, I've made an observation as of late. In general, Jedi feel as though they are "different" from the people around them. I've had many Jedi email me and correspond with me because they have trouble feeling "normal", or have a problem fitting in with the family members, because they feel like they are unusual. Well, they are unusual...as a Jedi, they should be different from the norm...BETTER than the norm. Another thing I have noticed is that many Jedi, especially Jedi who are just starting out, have a definite problem feeling like they are a part of their community. Now, about the Las Vegas thing that I said up there, that is the honest truth. Much less, I generally loathe Las Vegas, and everything it stands for. Ironic that I live here, is it not? To continue, let me tell you a little bit about my experience in Las Vegas, and why I dislike it. I will tell you about my low points, how a community can affect the behavior of an individual or individuals, and how by taking the moral high ground, a Jedi can find themself alienated from their past...but able to turn it into a bright future.

As many of you know, from reading my Holocron, I was not always a Jedi. Rather, before I became a Jedi, I wasn't always a saint, either. A ways back, when I young, I had several experiences affect my life in such a way as to change the way I looked at things dramatically. In short, I caved in upon myself, and entered a rather dark period. Las Vegas, if it is anything, is a wonderful place for those who are feeling an emptiness inside of them. The culture here breeds bad acts as much as anything. Gambling, Sex, Extortion, Drug and Alcohol abuse, even racism. (about that last part...Las Vegas is still heavily segregated into different classes and positions according to race, though not officially.) Those in Vegas who feel the need to do those sorts of things that are listed above generally have a wonderful access to them. I didn't do all of those things, actually. Really, I didn't do most of them. But I did the second one a bit too much, and neglected other areas of my life more than I should have. That second area, sex, was used as a way to fill up the hole in my being. We all need something to make us complete...lacking that, I tried to make it up, and failed. Another way that I used to try to make it up was the adrenaline rush of violence. Now, fighting is not a Jedi trait of any kind. Thus, I speak of this period of my life with a general disdain...but it is important to include nevertheless. Fighting is capable of creating an immense adrenaline rush, one that I used to crave worse than anything. Now, in the general society, fighting is a rather rare occurance. However, in Las Vegas, there are plenty of fights to pick, if you wish to do so. One of the best ways to do this would be to go to an area of town, hang out where you're not supposed to be, and be of the wrong race. Though I am ashamed to admit it, I used to do this quite a bit. I would hang out in the wrong places, get attacked for being there, and revel in fighting. In fact, I went so far as to turn it to sport, even perfecting my own fighting style, which was based on the simple concept of breaking bones...an enemy cannot fight with broken bones...thus, I became adept at snapping them. This kind of bloodlust was the kind of rampant disease of the soul in which I found myself. I firmly believe myself a warrior at heart...but to fight without so much as a good cause, and to fight for the pure sake of fighting? That was amoral.

Now, this was a dark period of my life. I can't blame Las Vegas for this, because I was the one who did all of those actions. I CAN, however, look back and say that the community in which I live is not, in any way, centered on preventing those sorts of things. Rather, the rampant drug use, sex, violence, and other sorts of bad things that are so prevalent in Las Vegas helps to foster those kinds of things.

Upon becoming a Jedi, I changed my ways. (see my holocron for details.) Upon setting foot on the right path, I realized something...by changing my ways, I was becoming different. Granted, not everyone in Las Vegas does all of those things I mentioned above. For the most part, very few people do them. But the basis of Las Vegas in general is to harbor "sin"...things which are looked upon as "bad" in many respects. By basing itself upon such a concept as "Take advantage of those who are in need", Las Vegas undermines whatever morality it does try to enfuse into its community, and weakens its credibility as a family location. (it's not. please don't bring your families here...it's not good.) Anyhow, as I emmersed myself more deeply into learning how to fill the hole in myself that I had for so long, by walking the path of the Jedi, I felt alone in my community, seperated from those whom I had once known...they were...different.

Many Jedi feel the same way. As they learn about the ways of the Jedi, they feel themselves being distanced from many of the people around them in everyday life. The way of the Jedi is a higher path...and as such, you will often find that you occupy a higher moral ground than others...or that you have a different way of thinking in certain situations. This is not a bad thing, but can lead to feelings of alienation and anger at the community around you.

The way that I countered this feeling of alienation is to realize that I was walking upon a higher path, and that the only way to stop my general anger at my community, was to attempt to raise it to my level...I would never allow myself to sink low again. Do I still loathe Vegas? Yes. But I transform my dislike for the city itself into a motivational force...the motivation to become a better person...the motivation to be successful, so that I can move away from this city...the motivation to never sink down into the lower masses again. In this same way, a Jedi can use his or her feelings of alienation to better him or herself, and make a better connection with the community in which they live. "Anger that is channeled into positive energy ceases to be anger". Alienation causes anger, thus, we use that anger, channelling it into positive acts and a positive influence on our life.

One of the first acts that a Jedi must perfect is the act of being able to take a negative experience and turn it into a positive...being able to channel anger into positive action. A change in perspective and motivation is often all that is needed for an alienated Jedi to be filled with the drive to help change his or her community, and the way he or she looks at a current situation.

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