The Apprentice's (Chris) Thoughts:
The Book Why can’t we be good? By Jacob Needleman has got me thinking the past few days, about the actions and reactions we take. Specifically, if we do them sub-consciously, does this make us good or something else?
Picture your mind as a notebook, or even better a Yearbook from Middle or High School, every year of your life and everyday people sign in your book. They put little notes, the closer they are to you the bigger they notes. Instead of actual notes from your school days, however, these notes are what make us who we are when we are not actively thinking about what we are doing. Think of it like this, for most people we would not know to turn down the stove top when the pasta gravy starts to boil over, if it was not for a “note” given to us by our grandmothers or mothers.
Sometimes these “notes” are more about how to treat people, like how growing up we would hear all the time “Little kids are to be seen and not heard”. We know this statement is wrong, so we have to actively remind ourselves that we must be better than that- but because it is a “note” in our book, sometimes in our anger, we tell our kids that same line. It is what we default to. The “notes” are what control us in our day to day lives, yes, and sometimes we have to work on the “notes” in our book- like walking or riding a bike. You can even say cooking, because years or weeks after not doing something we can pick up a bike or pan and know what to do, as though we never stopped doing the thing. That is because we always have the “notes”, there, in our head somewhere.
From what I’ve always been told, what makes someone good is “what you are doing when no one is looking.” This now means so much more, because our base actions- the things we do not think about daily- we must now control and fight to make better and no one sees that fight. No one sees us fight the fight or flight that happens inside every one of us. The small things people might not be thinking about- like holding a door- might be someone fighting an old “note” of “just let it close behind you”. If you just let your “notes” control you, and what you have been trained to do your life, you are really not good. Rather you are just going through the motion. What makes you good, are the actions you have to work for,the ones that fight your “notes”, the ones that make you have to think about what you are doing. If your “notes” tell you what you are doing, you are not actually doing it, you are not actually thinking about it. Where society might see it as a good deed, the truth is, it’s just your “note” that others have given you. Till you start thinking on your own and start doing things, you cannot really know the difference between your true self vs. others “notes” that make you.
Every day I will now think of this, and think “is every action I am doing something that is just drilled into me? Or is it something I am choosing to do?” And my question to you is are we still good when we let our sub-conscious control us?
The Mentor's (Alethea) Thoughts:
In the military, what you call “notes” would be akin to “muscle memory”. Only, more in the sense of “habit”. You can always retain these responses. In fact, that’s the point of Basic Combat Training. To break habits and build new ones.
So let’s talk about the “notes” that we have written in our mind palace, and fight against. By fighting against them, we are working to erase the old notes, and replace them entirely so that’s our default. It’s something that we make the active decision to change, but once these new “notes” are written, your stance leads the reader to believe that it means they no are longer “good”. They are effectively operating on “muscle memory” after rewriting the “note”. So would it truly be fair to say that after it’s rewritten, that means the individual isn’t “good”?
I’d argue this prospective is an inaccurate way of looking at the situation. One might operate on the habit of doing something that is deemed “good” , but what truly determines whether or not they are good isn’t the “note” but rather the reason they decided to allow the “note” to take up space in their mind palace. A soldier in Special Forces , for whatever reason, has decided to take on a dangerous job. They’ve made a conscious decision to rebuild habits so they can respond to situations that put their life on the line. But does that, alone, make them “good”? Having known people in SFG, I know that some make the decision to transform lives, while others seek the thrill of being on an elite team, some for the benefits that come with it (they get pretty good bonuses). For some, their reasons may change over time. And those things might help make them “good” people, but it could easily go the other way too.
A person that let’s a “note” about holding a door open occupy their mind palace could have a number of reasons for having it there from the get-go- common courtesy, trying to attract a woman, romanticizing of medieval chivalry, etc.
So I ask again, is the sub-conscious action on a “note” encoded into your mind palace the defining factor of “not good”? Or does it truly boil down to the motive for keeping it there?