I can see why you would think the things you do, and I would probably have those same thoughts if I assumed that the appearance of self and other was the entire story of reality. If I was just me and that thing was unconnected from all other things, then perhaps the things that Jedi do would look like they were ‘sacrifices’. Perhaps I would think it silly that they were denying something when they spoke of acting from centeredness rather than anger. It might even make my eyes cross by making me see them on one hand as being unrealistically altruistic and on the other hand somehow egocentric. It would be a confusing thing to me.
But I don’t see myself as only this separate and human thing that my senses show me. I think there is a deeper truth to who I am. I think that if you look closely at my hand, you will see it is a swarm of molecules. Look closer still and you will see clouds of electrons. One more step inward and the electrons break into vibrations; no real matter, just probabilities and energies; my hand stops having borders and limits and is just a flicker in a larger idea that merges with every other thing that ever flickered in time. Even time itself falls apart when you look at it close enough.
So where in that is space for selfishness? When you stand in the awareness of that perspective, there is no sacrifice. There is just a realization that you do not want to waste this moment causing harm to yourself. You embrace your life, and you are able to experience the love that penetrates everything. You can see how everything you think, everything you say, everything you feel radiates out from you and echoes back to you. A Jedi is not selfless because he neglects himself. A Jedi is selfless because we are one with the Force and there is no self. There are just opportunities to allow the energy of the world to flow and to touch all of the minds and patterns that flicker and dance upon the wave that creates us.
A Jedi does not pen emotions within him. He expresses them. He notices them. He understands them. I think that expressing anger by hitting a racquetball or a punching bag is a way to avoid confronting the things you are feeling. I think it is just an easy way to hide. Sigmund Freud used the word ‘neurotic’ to describe the things that we did using the energy from repressed feelings. Ultimately, the things we do not confront begin to control us. If you find yourself with extra anger lying around to use as fuel, I think there are things in your life that you have not come to terms with yet. That is normal. It is true of all of us, but to ignore the warning signs of your own fear and frustration, and to try to punch a bag a little harder, instead of bringing your mind and spirit into health, is a quick way to lead your body into sickness.
Our ancestors’ survival required more than the fear of being eaten. Most likely all the species with awareness were afraid of being eaten. Many of them did not survive. What helped us to survive was not the fear, but the willingness to act with clarity and to move ourselves to places where we did not need to live in fear. Just as pain is a useful thing to alert us to where we need attention, fear can be the same. A Jedi pays attention to the symptom of fear, and then goes about eliminating it and restoring himself to health. I do not repress my anger, fear, or jealousy. I face it. I deal with it. I move past it. I share your concern about online therapy. I don’t think that the tendency is limited to Lightsiders, however. I am quite sure that I have seen equal numbers of people from all paths giving advice, and the Independents even more so. From your description of how you respond to people’s requests for council, I would say you allow yourself to get a little more involved that I personally am comfortable getting. I try to live in a way that expresses my beliefs on one of the ways living can be carried out. I express sympathy, empathy, or compassion depending on how I feel I can be most helpful to the person asking for help and to the others standing nearby. I try to share what I know about ways to approach problems, but I rarely suggest specific answers for problems. Mostly I listen. I see what requests I can fulfill. I think of who I know that might be going through something similar with whom they might have a partnership in discussing their experiences. What I don’t do is therapy. With no face-to-face contact, and with no reasonable way to follow up, it would be unethical to enter into that sort of relationship. Perhaps some Lightsiders feel differently, but from discussions I have had with the leadership on my path, I believe they agree with me on that point.
You spoke of the ego of the Lightsider, and that accusation makes me smile. Most of my favorite Force Academy members have had egos the size of the internet, and not half of them are Lightsiders. Walk through the history of Shadow leadership and tell me that you can’t find any arrogance. From the top of Mt. Shinobi, you can see for miles, and looming there in the distance is the mountain range that is the ego of the Dark Side. I am one of the most self-righteous of Lightsiders. How am I doing compared to Darksider, Richard Irvine? To Lord Moor? And yet, I think there is something that is more important than the size of the pedestal someone places themselves upon, and that is the nature of their humility when they look at others. What is Light within me is not my belief that I am a good human being, but my belief that I have things to learn from everyone. I think we are all fantastic, and I am lucky to have met the people I have met here. Their pride can be as large as mountains, but their wisdom and their spirits reach to the stars. I have met Lightsiders who thought they were amazing, but I have yet to meet one who knew how amazing they really were. The same goes of people on every single path here.
You made a final point that I would like to respond to. You said that the Light Side was the path that supposedly accepted all, and I think you are wrong about that. I think we embrace all people, but I do not think we have ever had a majority of our order that believed that all actions were proper or that all beliefs were true. If anything, we are dedicated to living our lives in a way that we have come to believe is proper for ourselves. Part of our journey and commitment as teachers at an academy involves helping others to ask and answer the question of "what is right?", but we do not insist that they find the same answers as us. They can say whatever they believe. We can respond with whatever we believe. We both listen and we speak. If that seems like intolerance to you, then you are missing the reciprocal nature of freedom of speech. With that said, I invite you and everyone else to disagree with me on everything. I am always up for a good discussion.