I was reminded yesterday of the intro to a song that I haven't heard for a few months, however that isn't the important section. The intro has the following words:
"Daddy, what does regret mean?"
"Well son, the funny thing about regret is that its better to regret something you have done, than something you haven't"
My question is simple.
Do you agree with the major statement made in the words above? If so, try to justify it to yourself...then take that justification you have and convert it into words for us to read.
Similarly if you do not agree with it, find your justification and then put it into words.
Colin Waring
OK, short sweet, and as open as I'm gonna be.... I don't regret. Well, I make an attempt not to. I learn from everything, teh thigns I have done, and well, if I haven't done them, then it's my own fault and I'll just deal wiht it and move on.
Xaverri Darkcleod
OK, Colin, I guess you were referring to me, even if you spelled my name wrong :)
OK, how does mine tie in? Well, you were talking about regrets, and well, I don't regret. I see it as a kinda way of hurting oneself, and dwelling on the past. The future is in one direction, that being, ahead of us, and the past has already been. We can learn from it, but shouldn't dwell on it.
Xaverri Darkcleod
In every sense of the word YES. I think that to regret something you haven't done is far worse then regretting something you have. When there is regret of something you have done, it's a learning experience. You did something you shouldn't have or you did it wrong, but at least you did it. When you regret something that you failed to do you are regretting a missed chance. Your regretting not living. You have passed up a chance to do something and it will never come again.
I believe that in living a great life you must do all that you can and never turn away a chance for a new experience. Whether it's great or it's horrible at least you experienced it. To regret something you have never done is to say "I never lived, I let this precious time just slip away" and how awful is that. You never here someone say I regret I never threw a rock at Miss bacherbach head (well unless they are mentally ill). No, it's always the things that could have been great but we were too afraid to live,to afraid of failure to try, in my opinion that is much worse.
Live, learn and experience vs. don't live and regret it. Tough choice, huh…
--Raven
to me regret is a waste of time. if I regret things than I would have no time to do things that I would regret. for some reason I don't regret things...
Jess Ree
Okay looking through the responses so far...Zav and Jes, what relevance are your comments to the original task? Can you tie them in and why did you answer in the way that you did? Raven...don't worry, I haven't forgotten you but I will get to your reply later :0)
Colin Waring
To do and regret, or not to do and regret, that is the question.
Well, I agree with what's said up there. You only live once (so goes the saying) and why bother regretting what you have not done, when the chance was there? Sure, we do terrible things, but at least it is one more "thing" that a person has gone through.
For example. I know this sounds "lame", but I went to Space Camp years ago, down in Florida. There was a ride/training machine there called the Multi-Axis Trainer. It's a device you get strapped to, and several loops spin in various ways and you spin with it, in the center. I was scared out of my wits to do it (i didn't like spinny-upside down "rides" at the time) and I sat it out. Later, yes, I regretted not going on it, as it's not everyday you get to sit in one of those things. (Heh, I went back to "Space Academy" a few years later and went on the multi-axis anyway...shh...I know I'm a space dork)
As to regretting what I have done...I would rather not share an example of that, but you can live and learn, I find, more effectivly from that. Without doing anything, one can only guess as to what the consequences were, "good" or "bad". But after we have experienced it, with all the experiences of our lives, we are "all the wiser". Regret if you like, but you'll know better for next time.
Saidi Akili Maleah
I think it was already said, but if you regret something you've done, you admit that you could have done better and just didn't make the right move. If you regret something you didn't do, as in something you knew you should probably do, or knew was right, but still didn't do it, you can't really learn from it except to do it next time you get the chance. Dealing with regret, though, there was something someone said to me one time that I see as very true most of the time. "If you are truthful, you have little to regret."
If the actions you take and words you say are as true as they can be, they may still cause pain, but they aren't attacks and they aren't something that is meant to cause pain. The truth can cause pain, but lies can cause more, and lying is a choice to not go with the truth. If you act on something you believe is the truth you will have little to regret, even if it turns out that it wasn't really the truth and you made a mistake. If you're acting on what seem to be facts, it is a lot easier to just learn and move on, than if you act on what you know is wrong. The truth isn't necessarily what is completely true, but what you know, at the time, to be the closest to true you have found.
Rogue Ace
My apologies Xav, I must have hit the wrong key.
In my first post, I asked at simple question. I have reread through the replies several times and I can only see one person who actually answered the question.
Raven, I said I'd get to you later because you are the only person who actually gave a physical answer to the question, no because you were in trouble ;)
Now the others, you replied and gave your views on regret as a whole without covering the distinction that I asked for, I would now like to ask why you did so. Whether it was a conscious choice to tackle the question from that angle or if you simply 'did it', then go back and give me your views on the original question regardless of whether you think regret on the whole is a bad thing...but concentrating on the specific division within the class set of 'regret'.
Colin Waring
I have gone back, and read, and reread your original question. I have sought to formulate an answer of the type that you are searching for, but while it still holding true to me. I have given my answer first, then defined it further, beyond what I was originally wanting to do... And again, I seek to find an answer within that relates to me, while answering what you seek.
My beliefs of not regretting, is both a conscious and automatic one. I decided not to regret, and as such, therefor automatically attempt to not regret. Now, perfection is a myth, and I do regret somethings, sometimes. That is part of my dilemma. I regret, both, my actions, and what the have caused, and my lack of taking a certain path. I regret neither one of them more than the other. For one, we have already done, and regret cannot change the past. The other, well, just because I didn't do something once, doesn't necessarily mean that I will not come across such an opportunity again. In the event that it was a one time only thing, well, no sense dwelling on it all the time. I still can't go back in time and change it.
We learn from everything, even the lack of having NOT done something.
I would like it if this answer gives you what you wanted to know from it, as that it has given me an explanation of what you were seeking. However, if this answer is not sufficient for you, well, I shan't regret that either.
Xaverri Darkcleod
You've done all but give a direct answer Xav :0) I can see your reasoning and your explanations which lead me to believe that a simple answer to the original question would be that you do not agree with it as neither is better than the other, am I right?
Colin Waring
Actually, Colin, I believe that I have given a direct answer every time that I have answered. I have been saying that I cannot choose which is better, or whatever, simply because I don't follow that. That is what I've been saying every time. My answer has always been there, but as we all know, sometimes, the best answer is often hidden in plain sight.
Now mind you, I mean no offense from this, not that I believe taht you would find any, anyway.
Xaverri Darkcleod
I wasn't doing most of it as a reply to the original post, what I was talking about was stemming more from the other replies, sorry bout that, but I still believe I gave my answers.
Rogue Ace