By Alethea Thompson
Have you ever looked around at things you have said in the past? Our politicians are constantly being thrown things back in their face of things they have done or said which are offensive to others. Maybe even back in the day, it was commonplace, but later on, it became something that has been exposed as being racist or some form of xenophobia.
It’s not hard to criticize our leaders for saying such things, because it’s a lot easier to look into their past and find it when the whole world is watching. But what about ourselves. It’s hard for us to know what we said a long time ago verbally when it wasn’t recorded somewhere. But when it is, we write it or record it in video format, and then rarely ever return to those things we’ve written.
And if we do, it’s not hard for us to justify to ourselves that who that person was a long time ago, isn’t who we are today, and our actions today should speak louder than something we recorded on paper/computer/video years ago. But that’s not always the case either.
Just as an example, the DNC last year made a point to try and smear Presidential Candidate Tulsi Gabbard as modernly homophobic because of something she agreed with about the beginning of this century. Despite her support for the LGBT Community throughout her Congress career, Tulsi Gabbard was painted as someone probably just doing it to toe the Party Line.
But politicians aren’t the only people that should have to apologize for what they have said in the past. We Jedi have a responsibility to recognize that we have had our own misgivings that have directly or indirectly inflicted pain upon others.
I’ve largely kept any discussions of topics regarding the LGBT community in private exchanges…because if I’m being honest- there’s a lot of stuff I just don’t understand. I cannot speak on the topic, because I might say something that I don’t realize is offensive. There’s a large language barrier. The most I can talk about is frustration over the lack of shelters LGBT members that experience Domestic Violence or Homelessness have access too and keep pronouns straight once I’ve been made aware of them. But, there was one time (of which I am aware of) that I spoke up, and these days I realize just how wrong I was in what I said, and for believing it.
- I called being Transgender a mental illness, based on the fact that psychologists placed it in the DSM with a prescribed therapy of gender-reassignment.
- And I stated that people who do not have what is called “Gender Dysphoria” and were labeling themselves genders that didn’t fit into Fluid or the Binary model were unintentionally mocking those who have what the APA calls “Gender Dysphoria”.
- I used the term “Transgendered” (which I now know is an offensive term)
- Finally, I stated that I believed that the bathroom debate should be based on one’s genitals, but if someone felt uncomfortable in a bathroom that matched their visible genital they should have access to a private bathroom.
I’ll start with the latter. My views have evolved on this, based on women fighting back against policies that seek to hide their bodies. Everyone should feel safe, I have never actually feared that a cisgender male or female would become the victim of rape by a transgender male or female. One of my best friends (Ashley) was raped in a high school bathroom during her freshman year, I know that anyone who wants to rape another person doesn’t care about the rules and I always have. The concern I expressed 3 years ago on ToTJO came from a place of understanding for those who shared a similar experience to Ashley, and for the safety of a transgender woman or man that may experience bathroom violence by their peers.
But with the movement by women to make it obvious men need to control themselves, I realized my thoughts on the matter were unintentional victim-blaming, instead of promoting Personal Responsibility. As someone who has been called a Jedi Master by her peers, I’m supposed to be teaching you all that you are responsible for your own actions and need to own them whether you’re right or wrong. I’m also supposed to be teaching you that you need to be an example for those around you. But I have since come to understand that if I’m teaching you to allow your fears that someone might become a victim guide you to stand up for their dignity, I’m not actually teaching you to be an example of Personal Responsibility. I’m teaching you to go against the very Jedi Works I helped write.
My stance has changed, and even my son’s time in school has helped me to better understand just how important it is that children learn at an early age the value of acceptance for cultural and social differences. We should be teaching our children that we should accept people for the gender they identify as, and not discriminate against them in any way. We cannot build a safe environment if someone feels they cannot be safe around others because they are deemed different. By giving someone private space, that promotes the idea that they should be treated differently by their peers, and that’s just wrong.
Next, “Transgendered”. I really did not know that this term was offensive at the time I wrote it. I know now not to use it, but I want you all to know that I really still have difficulty with the terminology. If I use a word that is offensive, tell me so I can make sure that I adjust my language. And if you have heard me use a term that is offensive in the past, I apologize. Hopefully, someone called me out on it, so that I am not using it again. I know Michael has corrected me at least twice because I used something I shouldn’t be using.
Finally, the last two points are based on the same misguided beliefs. Where “Gender Dysphoria” being present in the DSM has actually helped to guide law in various countries around the world to open up public funding for gender-affirming surgeries, after studying the history of Homosexuality in the DSM I’ve come to better understand just how damaging this classification is to the Transgender Community. But it took time to grasp the concept “Gender is a Social Construct” because all I kept seeing were the arguments in the media about hormone therapies and gender-affirming surgeries…I let the media play me. Another thing I, as a Jedi instructor, am supposed to be teaching you all not to let happen (the virtue of Objectivity).
These days, I realize that what I was said 3 years ago was conflating Transsexual with Transgender. And in doing so, I was speaking an offensive to both groups. With one, it sounded as though I placed them in a category that was on par with people that have severe neurological disabilities. Although it was not my intention to imply such, I can see exactly how my words cut a deep wound into anyone that read those words, and I am 100% at fault for not being sensitive to how my words could have been taken.
The second group I offended- and even more blatantly than the first- were those who identify with the Transgender Community, but do not feel a need for gender-affirming surgery. I callously called them out as fad-chasers and not having compassion for those who may feel hurt by their birth-assigned gender.
We should all have the right to choose who we are. The various labels we put on ourselves help us to better know who we are and our genders play a role in developing that sense of identity. It was wrong of me to allow the media to play a role in my ignorance of the subject. But what was more wrong, was that I allowed my words to tell others they shouldn’t engage in one of the most important self-exploration of their identity. Which is just another violation of the Jedi Compass (Self-Awareness Interior) that I was in violation of with my short speech.
In the beginning, I asked a question. I asked you all how often you have looked at something you have said in the past. The truth is, I don’t often think to do that myself. I’ll look through a journal where my thoughts are collected, but I don’t go through the forums to look at things I’ve said because it’s tiresome. But really, I should consider doing exactly that when I have some free time in the future because it took a fellow Light Master to point out to me that I had made this statement public and I’ve been meditating on the subject ever since. Trying to figure out just how much I had failed as a Jedi by both thinking and saying it.
What makes the Jedi Community beautiful, is that we aren’t like various religious systems that tell you denying a part of yourself is the only way to win heavenly favor. We believe that everyone has the capacity to contribute to the building of a stronger future if they so choose to take up their adventure. Your sexuality, gender, the disability your doctors tell you you have, nationality, religion, career, none of these prevent you from fully manifesting the Jedi Path in your life, and if you have felt that I have somehow said that to you in the past I sincerely apologize.
