When addressing a situation that may become potentially violent, or anyway detrimental to a Shadow Jedi's objectives the Shadow will rely on his/her ability to absorb a situation from all physical and mental angles.
The first question in any situation is motivation.
Knowing motivation will allow the Shadow to best see which direction a situation will go in.
If someone is motivated to pick a fight with their neighbor down the street because he believes that that neighbor is committing adultery with that person's spouse then they are most likely going to confront them in a means that is reflexive to their feelings towards One) Monogamy. Two) Betrayal. Three) The Value of the Relationship and for whatever reason it may be valuable. Four) Particular feelings about that neighbor prior and after the transgression.
I.E. You are that person, your wife who you love JEALOUSLY, While you feel that a person should be committed to only one in any circumstance, and you feel that the Neighbor (Being a close friend) committed the ultimate act of betrayal are most likely to do the most damage to the neighbor, themselves or their spouse. This person would have a great deal of motivation to cause harm.
Now if you had a situation where you didn't care much for Monogamy, you didn't feel betrayed, and you already had kindred feelings for the neighbor, there is much less of a chance of you behaving violently even though the same events have transpired.
Motivation is the most important thing to judge in any situation. If you do not understand motivation then you are forced to make a great many assumptions that could cause you to say something that might set off the wrong chain of events simply because you thought that's how it was.
Assumption is something that also needs to be addressed.
Assumption can cause the greatest damage in that it is almost always a trigger. With Assumption we often run into situations where something seems to happen and that can entice a response that never should have been.
I.E. You find a letter filled with romantic text with no address or names on it, yet it is on your desk so you assume it is for you. Now you go about feeling both conspicuous and giddy when in actuality it was your secretaries letter that she accidentally forgot to pick up when she grabbed the memo's off your desk. Now you are set up for either a great disappointment or worse.
Assumption, by the same token, can also be a great tool if properly employed.
Say you want the weekend off but your boss is a stickler for a weekend worker. If you surreptitiously plant that same love letter with innuendo or two that tells him to meet someone you know he is interested in in that same office this weekend, then it is highly unlikely that he will argue with you wanting the weekend off.
Know all sides of every story. Shadow's must never delude themselves, know your weakness's and your strengths, but most importantly know circumstance and how to work it.