The Reason
Session Start: Tue Nov 07 03:40:09 2000
[03:44] <Chris> anyhoo, Pe, why are you interested in the shadow deal?
[03:44] <ApparationOfPeEll> Nice question Chris.. well lets see... theres this ismple little thing I am looking for called "self-discovery" mainly thats it...lol
[03:44] <ApparationOfPeEll> simple*
[03:45] <Chris> simple? hardly
[03:45] <ApparationOfPeEll> I know thats why I laughed.
[03:46] <Chris> ok, but why have you chosen one aspect already. we have three to choose from.
[03:46] <Chris> all with differing methods of attaining that goal
[03:47] <ApparationOfPeEll> DO the methods really impact the ends as long as you get there?
[03:48] <Chris> that all depends.
[03:48] <ApparationOfPeEll> On?
[03:48] <Chris> the method should be one you are comfortable with. if it's not, well...
[03:49] <Chris> If you've looked at all the aspects, you'd note that each one favors certain..characteristics, incentives.
[03:50] <ApparationOfPeEll> Incentives `eh? I am not looking for incentives. Just freeing.
[03:50] <ApparationOfPeEll> Incentives are what delude people.
[03:50] <Chris> fair view point. but, why the shadow specifically.
[03:50] <ApparationOfPeEll> I find that the mind like to create illusions. Incintives help that process.
[03:51] <ApparationOfPeEll> Well.. lets see...
[03:52] <ApparationOfPeEll> From what I can observed their views on certain things seem to be closely related to my own views... more than the other "aspects" if you will....
[03:52] <ApparationOfPeEll> have*
[03:52] <Chris> hmm. k
[03:53] <ApparationOfPeEll> Make sense?
[03:53] <Chris> sure, a bit vague though.
[03:54] <ApparationOfPeEll> Yes you are correct. Plus if their views are closely related to my own you would think that in trying to see what is so tp speak I would seek something that I don't necessarily agree with...
[03:54] <ApparationOfPeEll> to*
[03:55] <ApparationOfPeEll> I just feel like I should be here. It's strange.
[03:55] <Chris> understandable.
[03:55] <ApparationOfPeEll> I am not exactly looking for a set of beleifs or a direction to follow....
[03:55] <ApparationOfPeEll> Just to do away wit the ones I have.
[03:55] <ApparationOfPeEll> with the*
[03:56] <ApparationOfPeEll> And see what is.
[03:56] <ApparationOfPeEll> Make more sense that way?
[03:57] <Chris> repsectable, but you should have a pretty clear idea as to what you think the aspect can offer you, the better to concentrate on your goal, and to get pointed help from others
[03:59] <ApparationOfPeEll> Thats the thing... I don't want to attain anything from this "aspect" and my desire is just total freedom. I don't neccisarily agree with a lot of goals .. they are static and reachable.. the truth is always changing so my goal is to be ever changing so to speak?
[04:00] <ApparationOfPeEll> Umm... live in total freedom.
[04:00] <Chris> interesting
[04:00] <ApparationOfPeEll> From attachments...
[04:00] <ApparationOfPeEll> And things.
[04:01] <ApparationOfPeEll> The name "shadow" is just that to me.. a name. Naming things and lageling them wit words creates lots of things... things such as misunderstanding.. confusion... fear...
[04:01] <ApparationOfPeEll> Creates attachment to the actual word and not the concept.
[04:02] <ApparationOfPeEll> labeling*
[04:02] <ApparationOfPeEll> Grrr...lol
[04:02] <Chris> well, you already have the shadow curse of speeling ;)
[04:02] * Xaverri smiles
[04:02] <ApparationOfPeEll> Typing.
[04:02] <ApparationOfPeEll> I can spell.
[04:03] * ApparationOfPeEll laughs
[04:03] <ApparationOfPeEll> Is what I am saying making sense to any of you?
[04:03] <ApparationOfPeEll> I mean I don't ask that you agree with me.. just understand....
[04:03] <Chris> it does make sense, Pe.
[04:05] <Xaverri> I'll have to see later, pe. I'm kinda doing a few other things, so I'll have to read the log later
[04:05] <ApparationOfPeEll> No prob. Do your thing.
[04:05] <Chris> so, Pe, why're you so guarded with yourself?
[04:06] <ApparationOfPeEll> Gaurded with myself?
[04:07] <ApparationOfPeEll> ua*
[04:07] <ApparationOfPeEll> Whadda ya mean?
[04:08] <Chris> ya. you're constantly checking to see if you're getting across in the light you want, using neutral tones in your dialoge...
[04:08] <ApparationOfPeEll> Suppose that's something I need to find out huh? I honestly don't know.
[04:09] <Chris> a little something to work on. Keep in mind we're all of us searching out the same thing, you're opinion is as valid as anyones here
[04:09] * Xaverri grins
[04:09] <ApparationOfPeEll> True.
[04:10] <Xaverri> perhaps even better than a few... You're new :) hehehe
[04:10] * ApparationOfPeEll doesn't get that
[04:10] * ApparationOfPeEll laughs
[04:10] <Chris> don't get yourself caught in fa politics if at all possible
[04:11] <Xaverri> Oh, that's right, Chris
[04:11] <ApparationOfPeEll> Politics `eh?
[04:11] <ApparationOfPeEll> lol... why is that?
[04:12] <Chris> it distracts from what you're purpose is. or it can anyway
[04:12] <Chris> it has a way of solidifying beliefs to an unhealthy solidity
[04:12] <Chris> and that was a sucky sentence
[04:13] <ApparationOfPeEll> I got your point though.
[04:13] <Chris> k
[04:13] <ApparationOfPeEll> Organizations laways do that
[04:13] <ApparationOfPeEll> always*
[04:14] <Chris> unfortunately
[04:14] <ApparationOfPeEll> Another helping hand to the mind who likes to create illusions and false sense of security by helping find a "niche" to fit in and remain excluded...lol
[04:14] <Chris> bingo.
[04:14] <ApparationOfPeEll> Furthering you from truth.
[04:14] <Chris> don't get too comfortable to the point of inflexibility
[04:15] <ApparationOfPeEll> Oh no.. pliability is a must
[04:15] <ApparationOfPeEll> pliability is living...lol
[04:17] <Chris> what else do you feel contributes to that?
[04:17] <ApparationOfPeEll> To what living?
[04:17] <Chris> sure
[04:18] <ApparationOfPeEll> What else contributes to living..hmm....
[04:18] <ApparationOfPeEll> Desire within the total understanding of need...
[04:19] <ApparationOfPeEll> That about sums it up I think.
[04:19] <Chris> need over desire, huh?
[04:19] <ApparationOfPeEll> No.
[04:19] <Chris> explain
[04:20] <ApparationOfPeEll> Together. Having desire and understanding need.
[04:20] <Chris> but what if your desires are more than your sense of need?
[04:21] <Chris> or are you offering more of an idea of balance within the two?
[04:22] <ApparationOfPeEll> I am saying that you must understand need , not the quantity or quality of it... and then desire will not be more they will not be torturous
[04:23] <ApparationOfPeEll> be more than need*
[04:24] <Chris> how can you understand need without knowing the quantity of quality you require to live within your comfort zone?
[04:25] <ApparationOfPeEll> need there is mistaken for desires when you speak of comfort zones though
[04:26] <Chris> true, so you don't necessarily require comfort. ok.
[04:26] <ApparationOfPeEll> Right.
[04:28] <ApparationOfPeEll> See what I am observing is that the mind doesn't like conflict.
[04:28] <ApparationOfPeEll> But in conflict it becomes more acute...
[04:28] <Chris> I'm not so sure about that, but ok
[04:29] <Chris> conflict does require one learn faster, sure.
[04:29] <Chris> but does that mean you should actively seek conflict?
[04:29] <ApparationOfPeEll> Nopes.
[04:30] <ApparationOfPeEll> What I am saying is...
[04:30] <ApparationOfPeEll> To find what routes the mind has made to avoid conflict you must get to the state of conflict and observe what it has built.
[04:31] <ApparationOfPeEll> lol... confusing shyt I am writing `eh? Thsi is getting weird.
[04:31] <ApparationOfPeEll> this*
[04:31] <Chris> it's getting good. but that still sounds like seeking conflict to me.
[04:31] <ApparationOfPeEll> But...
[04:31] <ApparationOfPeEll> Once you have found the routes you can then adress dismantling them
[04:32] <ApparationOfPeEll> And be rid of the conflict.
[04:32] <ApparationOfPeEll> And everyone has them because we are nothing more than products of opur enviorment.
[04:32] <ApparationOfPeEll> our*
[04:33] <Chris> you'd give the environment a good deal of control then.
[04:33] <ApparationOfPeEll> Not really...
[04:33] <ApparationOfPeEll> Once you underatand the nature of the envorment.
[04:33] <ApparationOfPeEll> Ever changing it is...
[04:34] * ApparationOfPeEll laughs
[04:34] <ApparationOfPeEll> And ever tired I am becoming...lol
[04:34] <Chris> and ever more like yoda you are speaking ;)
[04:34] <ApparationOfPeEll> Ya ya!
[04:35] <ApparationOfPeEll> I think i am gonna try and hit the sac for a bit...
[04:35] <Chris> but it's a good thought path. keep these two parts in mind, on conflict and environment.
[04:35] <ApparationOfPeEll> Ahhhh....
[04:35] <ApparationOfPeEll> But see I believe that truth is a pathless land...lol
[04:35] <Chris> if all roads lead to the same goal, then all paths are moot, so I'd agree.
[04:36] <ApparationOfPeEll> lol... well guys it has been enjoyable but I think I am gonna make like a baby....
[04:36] <Chris> ok, I need to get sleep as well.
[04:36] <Chris> laters pe
[04:36] <ApparationOfPeEll> You there X?
[04:36] * ApparationOfPeEll taps the puter screen
[04:36] <ApparationOfPeEll> Cya Chris.
[04:37] *** ApparationOfPeEll has quit IRC (QUIT: Ciao All !)
[04:38] *** Chris has quit IRC (QUIT)